what i’m doing here
hello! if you’re receiving this in your inbox you were either a subscriber to my now defunct patreon OR you recently signed up for this here substack. i will not be offended if you unsubscribe in the future! and now, here goes nothing…
welcome to: acting out by ac dumlao (they/them)! topics include but are not limited to: queer stuff, pop culture, trans representation, Filipino food, my cats (Ube and Boba), funny things my partner (Caitlin) says, reality television (Food Network and Real Housewives), and more…
what i recently discovered
my xmas music listening started perhaps a month ago but now it’s actual december aka peak holiday tunes time and i can’t get enough of “rockin’ around the christmas tree” by brenda lee (not to be confused with sandra lee). in digging into brenda’s discography beyond the xmas hits, i was listening to her self-titled 1960 release and fell in love with her raspy, powerful voice. and then i heard it: “uh huh honey!” que? could it be? yes, the first seconds of lee’s “sweet nothin’s” is sampled in kanye west’s “bound 2.” i still don’t know how to feel about this and this story serves little purpose except to say that discovering samples in the wild is quite the adventure.
rec: my fave song off of brenda lee’s self-titled is “i’m sorry.”
brenda lee is 75 today and i hope she’s having a pleasant holiday, from one petite queen to another.
what i’m teaching
since elliot page’s coming out as trans and using he/they pronouns, i’ve had some actually lovely, nuanced discussions with the cis whom i keep close. it’s a breath of fresh air, since i spend the majority of my time at the 101 level explaining what a pronoun is (not that that isn’t important, but it can be draining to do the surface level trans cultural competency training on repeat). in reflecting on these convos, here are some thoughts/pointers:
when someone uses more than one pronoun, my personal best practice is to use the pronoun for the person that they’re least likely to be called. for example: i see most people calling elliot “he,” so i am purposefully using “they” when i talk about them. (also, even as a non-binary person who uses they/them pronouns for themself, i can still mess up. so the more opportunities to use the singular they, the better.)
i’m not even going to address the TERF/bioessentialist nonsense that popped up after elliot’s post, but i will share time and time again: use the words that people use about themselves when we talk about them. the words elliot gave us: he/they pronouns. queer. trans. nothing further (yet) about gender. i use they/them pronouns, i’m bisexual/queer, and trans non-binary. i don’t vibe with “genderqueer” or “genderfluid” or “agender.” (in fact, i feel that i’m full of gender! exploding with gender!!).
(i lied, i am going to address the TERFs. dear TERFS: go climb back into the sewer and take your leader with you.)
now, for a palate cleanser:
what i’m watching
i am really holding on to the concept of “ambient tv” for dear life. even pre-pandemic, i have gravitated towards all things comforting because of 1. depression brain 2. emotional labor work-life. i cannot watch a prestige drama right now, and tbh i don’t see myself watching one ever again (except for the sopranos, which i believe to be a comedy at heart).
here is a list of holiday food network shows i am currently watching for the 2020 xmas season:
holiday wars (hosted by raven-symoné, ridiculous set)
holiday baking championship (a classic, see also: spring baking championship)
candy land (hosted by the kristin chenoweth. yes, she breaks into to song)
christmas cookie challenge (i’m usually in a fight with the pioneer woman, but it goes on pause during xmas)
we are also watching santa’s baking blizzard (allegedly from 2019 (remember her?), but i’d never heard of it until now… sus), and the two episodes of gingerbread giants (basically a docuseries on gingerbread competition conferences that is basically best in show of the gingerbread world.)
that's enough food network (for now). moving on. when CNN wrote, “Mariah Carey's Christmas special is truly the greatest gift of all,” they were not exaggerating. i experienced this joy last night — perhaps first i must take a step back to let you all i know i watched every episode of mariah’s world when it was on, and love mariah with my whole dang heart. this year’s special was… a truly wild ride in the best way. i know, i know… apple tv+. don’t worry team, be like me and sign up for the 7 day trial and cancel it immediately! i guess for the next 6 days i could be riffling through the apple tv offerings, so feel free to rec me on that, too.
what i’m christmassing
i realize that this whole update is basically about xmas, but again… it’s my newsletter and not yours.
a lot of merriment is occurring within the dumlao-reilly household. we purchased our xmas tree this weekend (shout out to Black-owned Natty Garden in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn). we have named them … Elliot. :) we’re still pondering on a tree topper.
the final thing i’ll share today is a throwback:
in 2017, i created the playlist “dreaming of a non-white christmas,” simply a playlist with only artists of color. it is, i kid you not, one of my proudest accomplishments. it has 153 followers to date. this somehow means more to me than my 11k followers on instagram (this sounds like a humble brag, but you will need to allow it since it is my birthday month.) anyway, here’s the playlist. some of my fave selections:
“one more sleep” - leona lewis - the banger that rivals “all I want for christmas is you”
“everyday will be like a holiday” - william bell - sad music! christmas music! soul music!
“please come home for christmas” (cover) - sharon jones and the dap-kings - the eagles, whomst?
what’s coming next
what is coming next? well, next week is my 30th birthday, so perhaps i’ll have some thoughts related to that next week. (or next next week? have we decided on a schedule? bi-weekly? monthly? am i using the royal ‘we’? will i ever start the crown? (no. nor the queens gambit, sorry. ambient television only.)
thank you for your time and to all a good night.
xx AC
and now for spon con time:
i sell genderfull merch on my teepublic. i tweet things (request me!) on twitter. i post things on instagram as well as facebook. and i have a website. i’m also on letterboxd.
secondly, this newsletter is totally free! but if you’re so inclined, i’m @callmethey on venmo, $mxacdumlao on cash app, and i’m also on paypal: paypal.me/mxacdumlao
finally, if you’re reading this i like you. lots.