Hello! As promised, I am back and I am now 30 years old!
This is an abbreviated version of the newsletter this week in consideration of the holiday (my birthday, which extends throughout the month of December) and also Christmas. I also still have vacation-brain (I’ve started taking personal time off on my birthday in recent years, and it’s the best decision I’ve ever made).
As it is my birthday month still, time for me to ask you for a gift…
Trans Santa
I mentioned Trans Santa last week, and since then, they’ve only continued to blow up! I love the internet! ICYMI: Trans Santa is an instagram account where trans youth send in letters/asks for holiday items and “Trans Santas” (people like you and me!) can fulfill their asks through Target wishlists.
You can read more about Trans Santa here:
Indya Moore's Festive Project 'TranSanta' Gives Gifts To Trans Kids (HuffPo)
For my birthday this year, my greatest wish is for YOU to be a part of Trans Santa! I always remind folks that sharing things online is FREE - so you can be a part of it all by reposting on your social media, copy+pasting it in your work Slack channel, or forwarding / texting to a friend. Yes, I did just mention that the account has gotten a lot of attention and media coverage, but at the same time the creators behind the project have been flooded with requests, so there are a bunch of wish lists that need to be filled!
(Of course, buying gifts via the Target wish lists that are set up is wonderful as well for those that have the means. After I hit “Publish,” Caitlin and I are going to fulfill some ourselves! But I always want to make sure that with any type of ask, there’s always a free option.)
Reading the letters on Trans Santa is so heart breaking and heart opening. As someone who does gender-related cultural competency trainings for a living, I realize that in some ways I have to numb myself when repeating the numbers and figures of what the reality of living is for so many trans folks. I see two major themes among the letters (which I encourage you to scroll through, particularly if you are cis): 1. disapproving, unaccepting, unloving family members 2. not only asking for “gifts” (which are still valid and important!) but also hygiene/personal care items, and gender-affirming clothes. This is no surprise to me, as the one-too-many intakes I’ve done where trans individuals have shared stories like these come to my mind too easily. I will not start typing out a Trans 101 training here (I’m still on vacation!) but if anyone is ever interested in resources, I’m always happy to share them.
Some resources that may be of interest when sharing the Trans Santa project:
Transgender Homeless Adults & Unsheltered Homelessness: What the Data Tell Us (National Alliance to End Homelessness)
When You’re Trans, Living With Your Parents Can Be Complicated (Buzzfeed News)
Some young trans people are choosing to live with their less-than-accepting families rather than face high chances of homelessness.
‘The volume has been turned up on everything’: Pandemic places alarming pressure on transgender mental health (Washington Post)
Now for a moment of AC-ness on top of it all: A reminder that trans people are so often forced to put their trauma on display for visibility and acceptance. All of the youth who submitted letters are worthy of receiving gifts regardless of how much or how little they shared. I caution us all to not be sucked into patronizing these trans youths and in turn seeing ourselves as benevolent Trans Santas, patting ourselves on the back for “doing a good thing.” Rather, we share the page and donate while also knowing that this project exists because of the transphobic world we live in (and must actively work to dismantle).
I’m overjoyed that the Trans Santa project is getting so much attention, I just worry about what happens on December 26 and beyond. This, of course, it not just a Trans Santa problem, it’s a fundraising/crowdfunding problem where there are huge spikes in charitable giving at key times and then a leveling off and forgetting — I think we’d agree that psychologically, fulfilling a Trans Santa youth’s wishlist feels way more exciting than a monthly gift of $5 or $10 to trans-led organization doing the work 24/7/365. (This is not me asking for money to the org I work for, though that never would hurt!). The answer here isn’t that one-off campaigns shouldn’t exist. Instead: that there should and can be both. And that giving back to trans communities is not only reserved for Christmas.
I’m starting to rant, which is classic AC… but I’m stopping now as to return to my last hours of birthday vacation and the Real Housewives of Potomac is about to be on.
TLDR: This is my grown-up birthday (and Christmas) wish and list: for you to be a Trans Santa and help make trans kids feel like they are a gift.
Thank you for reading and for hopefully joining the Trans Santa cause, with an always critical eye, but an ever-open heart.
I’ll see you next week!
xx AC
And now for spon con time:
I sell genderfull merch on my Teepublic. I tweet things (request me!) on Twitter. I post things on Instagram as well as Facebook. And I have a website. I’m also on Letterboxd.
Secondly, this newsletter is totally free! But if you’re so inclined, I’m @callmethey on venmo, $mxacdumlao on cash app, and I’m also on paypal: paypal.me/mxacdumlao
Finally, if you’re reading this, I like you. Lots.