I’m overwhelmed by the positive feedback I’ve received about this substack, and instead of shrinking away and giving up forever, I’m back, baby! I’ve been marinating on what this is all about and I’m still figuring it out. I’m also reminding myself that I don’t have to be “perfect” and this should be fun. So, let’s have some fun!
A format note: I had tweeted last week that my newsletter titles will be the names of episodes my favorite reality tv show: Chopped on Food Network. An older white lady once told me, as a tween, that “it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind.” To that I say: it’s weird that you told me that at 12, and I did not grow up to be a “woman,” but I will agree that similarly, that IS my prerogative. Considering this past week’s events, the newsletter titles will now be song titles/lyrics. Now, shall we?
The Grinch as a Trans Allegory
I may be one of the last people on this planet to have never seen How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000). That changed this past Wednesday night. I had a raucous good time with my Wholigan friends during a live watch, and was surprised by how much I sincerely loved this movie. I also, as I am wont to do, watched the film through a trans lens (I seem to not to be able to turn it off for some reason), and would like to present to you my theory: The Grinch is a Trans Allegory (I will use they/them pronouns for the following to drive the point home):
Being non-conforming: As a child, the Grinch is mocked by the other white, pointy-nosed Who children for “looking different.” In addition to being green, they are made fun of their facial hair, and shave it off to conform to the other young Who boys. Later in the film, they have difficulty picking out an outfit to wear into town - nothing “off the rack” (or rather, inside The Grinch’s cave) fits exactly right…to the point of them making their own clothes! The outfit they land on is a kind of lederhosen/overalls which is simply, undeniably, trans culture:
Leaving town and isolation: The Grinch can no longer handle the constant bullying and mockery from their peers, and leaves Whoville to live alone. They decide to close off their heart, and act as though they hate Christmas (when in fact, they truly love it.) Here, the Grinch suppresses their true self and needs for self-preservation.
You don’t have to change: At the end of the day, the Grinch has a change of heart, thanks to the unconditional care from Cindy Lou Who, the one Who who never saw the Grinch as different or scary. In fact, the Grinch helps all of Whoville, including their childhood bullies, realize that Christmas is not about presents (and capitalism), but about love and what is in your heart. (This message has not yet made it to the U.S.A.) The Whos accept the Grinch back, just as they are, green skin, beard, and all. A rare trans happy ending. Plus: The Grinch lands total babe Martha May Whovier (played by the Christine Baranski), making Martha Mae canonically transamorous.
But AC, does that mean that every story where a character is out of place and unlike the other townspeople is a trans allegory? Elphaba in Wicked? Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer? The Iron Giant? Yes. Yes. And also yes.
Need a trans reading of media? Hit me up!
The Section of the Substack Dedicated to Taylor Alison Swift
I have attempted to write this section multiple times, in trying to analyze Taylor Swift’s latest surprise album: evermore, which dropped this past Thursday 12/11 at midnight. But it’s simply not happening this week, because talking about Taylor Alison Swift won’t make an ounce of sense without me providing the proper context of my relationship with this tall, blonde woman, her music, and my love life. Buckle up, buttercup!
Much has been said about Taylor’s album-before-last (!!) called folklore and in particular, the song “Betty.” (We will need to discuss “Betty” in a future substack.) But in short: while “Betty” was immediately claimed by the internet as a sapphic anthem, Taylor later hetsplained on Country radio that “Betty” was actually written “from the male perspective,” of a 17-year-old boy named “James.” Chaos ensued (on tumblr) with many crestfallen baby gays feeling that they had been duped once again.
But I’d like to try to give the baby gays (and theys) hope. Historically, the device of singing from said male perspective goes way, way back in the Swift discography.
I’d like to focus this week on 1. Taylor’s first breakout pop hit: “Love Story” (Released September 2018) 2. my coming out story (1/x).
This is the Story of a Girl*
Puberty was not my friend. What little self-confidence I had had plummeted even further once my peers started “dating.” So, picture me: a short, brown, not-skinny girl with lots of acne. I remember in middle school, a boy named Gregory told me that I had “hairy arms,” and it stuck with me ever since. (I’m seeing now that I had a lot in common with The Grinch.) Oh, and I’m at Catholic school and I think I’m straight.
Society led me to believe I was an undesirable teenage girl and that the romance of shows like the The WB’s One Tree Hill wasn’t in the cards for me. In high school (2005-2009), I was so close (but not close enough) to turning compulsory heterosexuality on its head. I literally used to think to myself:
It’s too bad that I’m not a boy, because I would be a great boyfriend.
I was self-actualized enough to know myself as attentive, thoughtful, and simply better than all the silly boys I went to school with (This remains true). These were same boys who didn’t pay attention to me. So, good riddance to paying attention to them. (It didn’t click in me that this was in any way related to gender and I didn’t come out as non-binary until 2016).
Having come to the conclusion that there would be no high school sweetheart for me, I (subconsciously) decided I should dedicate myself to being a great friend to the girls in my life. How did I show this? Oh friend, let me TELL you:
Handwritten notes and cards.
Flowers on birthdays.
Remembering the “little things.”
Gosh, I was so gay and did not even know it. Looking back, there was something there there behind my love of belting out the climax of Swift’s “Love Story”:
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
And said, "Marry me, Juliet
You'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It's a love story, baby, just say, ‘Yes’”
Fast forward a bit from high school: I start college in August 2009. I do not fall in love with any human, much less any woman, until late 2009, and do not claim any sort of non-straight label until at least mid-2010. So, somewhere in my subconscious, Taylor Swift, in September 2008, singing “Marry me Juliet…” from the “male perspective,” hit something deep inside of me that I did not yet have words for. It affirmed me before I knew myself.
Today, I’m 29-going-on-30 and I’m planning to marry the love of my life, a badass bisexual woman, next year (!!). Now that’s what I call music. (This joke does not really make sense but I needed to close out this section.)
Stay tuned next week for more Taylor Alison (TA)/AC content!
Also on my radar…
The TranSanta Project Wants Trans Kids to Get Everything They Need This Holiday Season (them.us)
Tulsi Gabbard Introduces Bill That Would Ban Trans Women and Girls from Female Sports (Time)
Hallelujah! 'Sister Act 3' is in production, with Whoopi Goldberg starring (CNN)
I’ll never make a 30 Under 30 List…
And that’s fine by me.
The next time I talk to y’all, I’ll be 30 years old, an age that I’ve been waiting to be for around the past 5 years.
Thanks again for reading and I’ll see you on the other side.
xx AC
And now for spon con time:
I sell genderfull merch on my teepublic. I tweet things (request me!) on twitter. I post things on instagram as well as facebook. And I have a website. I’m also on letterboxd.
Secondly, this newsletter is totally free! But if you’re so inclined, I’m @callmethey on venmo, $mxacdumlao on cash app, and I’m also on paypal: paypal.me/mxacdumlao
Finally, if you’re reading this, I like you. Lots.